Christmas Eve

What a wonderful time we got to spend at my parents house last night. We had lots of good food (soup, little sandwiches, cheese, crackers, chips, soda, egg nog and more) and lots of good conversation.

We decided not to go to the Christmas Eve service. Losing the baby is just to close to home and I just wanted to celebrate. My heart broke a little further as my mom looked at a ultra sound picture of LilyAnn. Cherysh saw it and said "look, our baby" with excitement. My heart melted and I could not keep from crying. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to cry. Why is this so hard? Why can't I find the joy in the small things? I am so thankful for LilyAnn. That is not what this is about. I miss our baby and the hopes that we had with being pregnant. I miss the joy that we had when our kids talked about our baby.

Today is Chritmas. Kenny reminded me this morning that it is Jesus's birthday. That brings happiness to my life. To know that we are raising kids to know and Love our savior.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much for sending your Son to save the world. Thank you for this Christmas day. You have provided for our family and blessed us in so many ways. Lord, please help me to remember the Love you have for us when I am feeling broken hearted. Help me replace my fears with your hope. As we begin to celebrate Christmas today, penetrate our hearts and remind us of what your birth really means. Protect those who are missing loved ones and the broken hearted.

In Jesus name,

Amen